An Open Letter To JJ Abrams...

Before I begin, the first fairly complete synopsis of the upcoming Steven Spielberg produced JJ Abrams directed "Super 8":

"Super 8 takes its name from the Eastman Kodak film format that became a sensation with amateur movie-makers in the late 1960s and represented a rite of passage for several generations of aspiring directors, among them Spielberg and Abrams. The Paramount Pictures release is set in Ohio in 1979 and introduces a troupe of six youngsters who are using a Super 8 camera to make their own zombie movie. One fateful night, their project takes them to a lonely stretch of rural railroad tracks and, as the camera rolls, calamity strikes — a truck collides with an oncoming locomotive and a hellacious derailment fills the night with screaming metal and raining fire. Then something emerges from the wreckage, something decidedly inhuman."

Sounds pretty F-in sweet to me!

Now a quote from Abrams himself regarding said film:

”We have such a challenge on this movie,” Abrams said. ”Yes we’ve got Steven’s name on it and my name on it — for what that’s worth — but we’ve got no famous super-hero, we’ve got no pre-existing franchise or sequel, it’s not starring anyone you’ve heard of before. There’s no book, there’s no toy, there’s no comic book. There’s nothing. I don’t have anything; I don’t even have a board game, that’s how bad it is. But I think we have a very good movie.”

Now, my rant:

Although I only watched a bit of the first season of Abrams' "Lost" I hear the series itself pretty much rocked the party. Abrams also produced and/or directed Felicity, Alias, Regarding Henry, Joy Ride, M:I 3, Cloverfield, and the Star Trek re-imagining among other things.

I'm not here to hate on his product or his work ethic. What I most certainly will hate on is his words regarding the struggles he sees on the horizon for his latest endeavor.

For a man who has "made it" in the "biz" to brush aside Spielberg's name being attached to his film and point to all the various selling points his new movie lacks brings me to the verge of livid.

For a man who most likely rolls around on his satin sheeted, heart shaped bed in piles of $1000 bills to imply that he is fighting a worthy and seemingly impossible battle against the Hollywood machine sickens me.

For a man like Abrams to be so out of touch with reality is pathetic.  Abrams has truly lost touch with what it means to be a filmmaker. When the problems quoted above are your biggest hurdles, you should feel downright blessed. You live in a world where Hollywood executives would jump at the chance to "green-light" one of your farts.

Take a long hard look at yourself in one of your many platinum plated mirrors and ask yourself this question: do you have any idea the struggles of filmmakers infinitely more gifted than yourself?

You sir are the very definition of a douche bagged ass hat. Fuck you and the $10 million dollar caviar fed albino pony you rode in on.