13/13/13 takes place during the thirteenth month, on the thirteenth day, of 2013. Apparently, since continuing to observe leap years, we've actually run afoul of (and totally screwed up) the Mayan calendar, and are now subject to their wrath. On this day a man (Jack) returns home from a camping trip with his buddies to find his ex wife scrubbing a hole in her arm and babbling about how "it" won't come off. The clocks are reading 13:13, and she's brought to the hospital and checked into room, you guessed it, 13. His three friends stay behind to take care if his twelve year old daughter (how come she's not 13?) and everything goes to pot. Unfortunately, the daughter, along with the entire damn world, has turned homicidal. After the she kills one of her temporary babysitters and runs off, Jack teams up with a woman from the hospital to try and figure out what the hell's going on. Eyeballs get gouged, people get stabbed, run over, shot, and have their faces ripped off. And Jack and his new partner kind of just wander around amid all of the chaos. The end.
I hate to make blanket statements (actually, that's not at all true), but since this one is an ASYLUM "joint," my expectations were more than a little tempered. It's littered with awful dialogue (presumably scribed by writer/director Bressack), interminably grating performances, and enough "dissolve cuts" from the editing bay to fill every one of the movie's gaping plot holes. If I had to (with gun held to head) say something nice about any aspect of the production it would have to be that there are (occasionally) some well done practical gore effects. In essence what the audience is presented with is a SyFy Original wannabe that goes absolutely nowhere and ends so abruptly (and pointlessly) you're left to wonder what just happened. Obviously, I can't in good conscious recommend this one for any reason. Unless, of course, you are a friend of Bressack's. He's populated a good bit of 13/13/13 with actors whom he frequently collaborates with, so, there's that. But if, by chance, you decide to take a look regardless of my warning: be prepared to laugh for all the wrong reasons. This one is indeed a stinker. [1/10]
James Cullen Bressack
Trae Ireland, Erin Coker, Jody Barton